How can you help your child manage screen time?
Helping Your Child Navigate Content, Not Just Time
As parents, you might want to draw a line and set a limit. It feels easier to say, “No more than two hours a day!” than to unravel what children are actually doing during those two hours. As much as you want to monitor everything your children do online, constant surveillance can damage trust. So how do you strike that balance where kids feel supported, not spied on, and still learn to navigate the digital world in mentally healthy ways?
Here are some practical, non-invasive strategies to do that:
1. Create “Media Moments” Together
Instead of asking “How much screen time today?”, ask “What did you enjoy watching today?” When media becomes a shared experience, it opens up opportunities for connection and gentle guidance. Common Sense Media is a great resource to check if shows, games, or apps are age-appropriate and mentally healthy.
2. Use the “PAUSE” Rule Before Posting
Make your children self-reliance and build digital self-awareness without needing you to micromanage every post or message. Teach your children to ask themselves:
P – Is it Positive?
A – Is it Appropriate?
U – Is it Useful?
S – Is it Safe?
E – Is it Empowering?
3. Set Tech-Free Zones (for Everyone!)
Designate spaces like the dinner table or bedrooms as device-free and stick to it as a family. Make bedtime screen-free to protect sleep quality. It reduces the need for screen policing because boundaries are shared by everyone in the family not just imposed on children.
4. Encourage Creation, Not Just Consumption
Not all screen time is equal. Passive scrolling is different from actively creating. Encourage content creation: making videos, music, digital art, blogs. Ask: “What did you make today?” instead of “How long were you online?” Creative engagement boosts confidence, reduces comparison traps, and makes tech use purposeful.
5. Model Healthy Use
Children copy what they see more than what they’re told. Narrate your choices: “I’m putting my phone away so I can focus.” Avoid doomscrolling in front of them, especially during family time. When they see us struggle with limits too, it normalizes digital challenges and builds mutual respect.
6. Use Built-In Tools — Together
Instead of using parental controls on them, try using them with them. Use features like “Screen Time” on iOS or “Digital Wellbeing” on Android together. Review weekly reports as a team and discuss patterns. It shifts the tone from control to collaboration. Children feel trusted and involved.
7. Talk About What’s Real vs. Curated
Social media is different from real life and people often only post the happy moments. Help your child decode that. Share your own experiences with filtered content. Discuss “influencer culture” and how it can affect self-worth. This fosters media literacy, helping kids separate fact from fiction without banning platforms.
8. Don’t Just Limit — Replace
When you reduce screen time, have something to replace it with. This can include scheduling offline hobbies like family games, walks, cooking together, reading. Remember that thse activities are not just for them but are to be done with them. Replacing screen time with meaningful offline time makes the limit feel like freedom, not punishment.
As parents, you need to step in not just as timekeepers, but as content guides. Instead of “you’ve been on your phone for too long,” try “what have you been watching lately?” Focus on balance. Screen time doesn’t have to be the enemy, as long as it’s balanced with real-life connection, movement, hobbies, and rest. If you focus on connection, curiosity, and conversation, your kids are far more likely to come to you when something online feels uncomfortable, confusing, or harmful.
References:
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/
https://digitalwellnesslab.org/
https://www.apa.org/topics/social-media-internet/social-media-parent-tips
